I must love her.
Did I ever doubt my love until she claimed it five days ago with such
confidence in my loyalty? In that moment, as I went to her, as I took her
in my arms, as I felt that she needed me and trusted me, with the
suddenness of a revelation I knew--
It was hard to meet Ethel--and Milly and Mrs. Baker afterwards.
To-day, in preparing to move to our new home, I came across the rough
notes I wrote last December, when the marvel of Helen's beauty was fresh
to me. As I read the disjointed and half incredulous words I had set to
paper, I found myself living over again those days of Faery and
enchantment.
Custom has somewhat dulled the shock of her beauty; I have grown quickly
used to her as the most radiantly lovely of created beings; my mind has
been drawn to dwell upon moral problems and to sorrow at seeing her
gradually become the victim of her beauty--her nature, once as fine as the
outward form that clothes it, warped by constant adulation, envy and
strife; until--
But it is a miracle! As unbelievable, as unthinkable as it was on the very
first day when that glowing dream of loveliness made manifest floated
toward me in the little room overlooking Union Square, and I was near
swooning with pure delight of vision.
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