I sit alone in this huge palace in which I have come to live--feeling that
at last I have a home of my own, where no one can overlook my thoughts--I
sit alone and think of the future; and it is rosy bright, if only I could
forget--if only I could forget!
In all the world I am the sole guardian of the Secret. I shall be the most
beautiful woman for years and years and years; blessed with such beauty
that men shall know the tale of it is a lie, until they, too, come from
far countries to look upon it; and they shall go home and be known as
liars in their turn, and always dream of me. When I am old and gray, I
will tell the world how Darmstetter died, on the eve of publishing his
discovery. Perhaps I shall cling to it until I, too--
Ah, I can see that ghastly Thing, the dead, hideous eyes staring up at me!
Shall I be like that some day? As ugly as that!
It was not my fault, dead, staring eyes; not my fault!
CHAPTER IV.
SOME REMARKS ABOUT CATS.
The Nicaragua, April 27.
I've been sitting for my portrait to Van Nostrand. It is an offering to
the shades of Prof. Darmstetter. I must preserve some attempted record of
my beauty for his sake; though the Bacillus couldn't have made, if he had
lived, another woman as beautiful as I.
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