Going away! He did not love me. He cared nothing for my hurt, only for
Milly's. He loved that little white piece of putty that hadn't life enough
to love any man!
I heard rain against the windows and felt a sudden fierce longing to go
out and fight the storm. Could not a strong woman compel love? No other
woman since the world began had been so fit for love, had yearned for it
so hungrily.
Going away! Yet I felt his kisses upon my hand. Are men so different? What
is a man, that he should love and not love?
How cold the old Nelly was! Since coming to the city, I had never let John
kiss me; yet I thought I loved him. I thought love was a brook to make
little tinkling music, and it had become a mighty ocean sweeping over me,
sweeping over me!
But I must act at once, I thought; I must go away. I must find my aunt,
must tell her--what? Where could I go? Not back to Kitty; she had left the
den. Not to Miss Baker, who would share Aunt's wrath. Where could one such
as I find refuge? A woman whom all women must hate for her loveliness?
"Ned! Ned! I am alone!" I cried in my agony of soul. "You must--you
will!--come back to me, come back to me.
Pages:
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248