I must keep away
from you. You can see that. For the sake of all, I must keep away from
you."
The cloud was choking me, but I put forth my strength.
"You have done nothing wrong; I do not--"
Words failed me. I hadn't the temerity to speak John's name. And Ned--
could he not see?--only stood there saying:--
"Why I've wrecked Milly's life and mine and turned your friends against
you, only God knows, who made men what they are; only God knows--I don't.
Can you forgive me?"
Didn't he love me? His despair was beating conviction into me. He was
pale, his lip quivered. Why was he humbled and ashamed? I was palsied with
doubt, and the golden moments were fleeting, were fleeting. I must act!
But I felt as if I were dead and could not, though that strangling cloud
still hurt me.
"There is nothing to forgive," I faltered at last. "Or--you must forgive
me. Perhaps I should understand, but--oh, I'm not wise. Indeed I have not
meant to--to--Shall I speak to Milly for you? But that would only make
matters worse. They may take me--to Bermuda--anywhere; or--I will leave
this house; she'll forget if I go away.
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