I saw
little, heard little, yet was faintly conscious that I was the lodestar of
all glances and exulting in my triumph. It was marvellous!
I didn't dance much. People don't at New York balls. But whether I danced
or talked with tiresome men, my heart beat violently because he would see
the admiration I won--he would know that I, who was Helen, a Queen to
these others, lived only for him, was his slave.
There was supper, served at an endless number of little tables; there was
a cotillon which I danced with Mr. Bellmer. John stayed in the parlours
with Aunt, and Ned danced with Milly, but I was not jealous.
Jealous of Milly, with her thin shoulders rising out of her white dress,
her colourless eyes and her dull hair dressed like mine with roses?
Jealous, when his glance ever sought me; when, as often as we approached
in a figure, if I spoke, his eyes answered; if I turned away my face, his
grew heavy with pain?
Once in the dance I gave a hand to each of them. His burned like my own;
hers was cold.
"Tired, Milly?" I asked, and indeed I meant kindly.
"No," she said sulkily, turning to the next dancer.
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