And most of all, what most impresses me when I
try to consider myself fairly--candidly--critically--is the appearance of
strength, of health, of unbounded power and deathless youth--as if the
blood of generations of athletic girls and free, Viking men ran in my
veins. I am, I believe, the only perfectly healthy woman on earth.
Will the gods smite me for my happiness? Are they jealous? Ah, well, I
have never lived until now, and if I can stay a little while like this, I
shall be satisfied; I shall be ready to die. If only beauty does not
vanish as suddenly as it came! If it did, I should kill myself.
There are disadvantages. Such a time as I'm having with my clothes! Money
to buy new is not so plenty as I could wish, though the $75 a month that
Father sends was more than enough until the change. I'm saving to buy a
microscope--a better one than those loaned to students at the laboratory;
so I have to let out and contrive--I who so hate a needle!
And the staring admiration that is lavished on me everywhere! I suppose
I'll get used to it; but it's a new experience. I like to be looked at,
too, much as it embarrasses me.
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