A fellow
is perfectly safe in New York without any money.
We then mounted our deep-sea-going cab, and told the skipper
we were for the eats. He took us to a big restaurant on upper
Sixth Avenue. We told the waiter to bring us everything that
was good. When the waiter returned with the knives and forks,
he also brought us some Dill pickles. I took a bite at one of
them, and she squirted and hit a fellow at the next table in the
eye. I guess a Dill pickle must smart right pert--however, I won't
bore you with any details. Jim, I can remember that just at the
start of it a waiter happened to be passing with a very large
order on his tray, and for a while the air was literally crowded
with oyster stews, Welsh rarebits, glasses, showers of booze,
frogs' legs, and everything that wasn't chained down. When the
smoke cleared away I was occupying my regular position in the
center of the car track. They wouldn't let me in again, and the
rest of the fellows were too hungry to come out; so there I was
"Alone in New York." The cabman then asked for his money for the
whole day. I told him that the lack of money was the least of my
troubles, and I went down after ninety dollars that I had pinned
in my trousers watch-pocket with a safety pin. Exit money. Whoever
got to me hadn't even left the safety pin. The cabman made some
remarks about taking it out of my hide, and I spent all of twenty
minutes proving to him that the rest of the bunch would settle when
they came out.
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