" Jim, you should have seen Alice
go up! Johnny certainly cut her weights fine and proper. Of course,
Johnny was batting under two hundred, but for some unknown reason
we all got the blue pencil. She called Johnny an illy bred, low-
born, undersized, cavery-faced Protestant pup. Johnny was so
excited he couldn't get back at all. He just sputtered and spit
and made motions with his mouth. It was grand and touching and
refined. I cut in and tried to square it, and the lady told me
I was a spangle-eyed big dub. I'll bet that's one of the worst
things a fellow can be. Dick was then told what he was, and he
put it down in a book, after which Alice finished it all up with
a flood of tears. The head waiter came up and said: "Look a here,
Mary, what ails you, anyway? You're getting so lately you turn
them tears on every night. Be a good fellow, and don't make a
lot of gents think we're running a morgue. You've blowed half
your make-up as it is." Mary, alias Alice, gave the head waiter
one withering look, and left the place. We started to move on,
but found it was impossible to bring old K. C. back. We pounded
him and yelled at him for ten minutes, but there wasn't a leaf
stirring, except once, when he came to long enough to remark that
he was sweating like a June bride. We finally took his watch and
all his money but two dollars, and left him like a dog.
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